The Four Horsemen: Contempt
1:01
The Four Horsemen: Contempt
11 months ago
gottman.com
The Gottman Method
The Gottman Method
6 months ago
gottman.com
John Gottman says the #1 predictor of divorce is CONTEMPT. Not conflict. Not money. Not communication issues or different values. So let’s be clear about what contempt actually is. Contempt is the moment respect leaves the relationship. It’s when irritation turns into superiority. When frustration becomes disgust. When one partner feels above the other. It shows up as: • eye-rolling • sarcasm • mocking • dismissive tone • “You always…” / “You never…” • shutting down instead of staying engaged Go
0:07
John Gottman says the #1 predictor of divorce is CONTEMPT. Not conflict. Not money. Not communication issues or different values. So let’s be clear about what contempt actually is. Contempt is the moment respect leaves the relationship. It’s when irritation turns into superiority. When frustration becomes disgust. When one partner feels above the other. It shows up as: • eye-rolling • sarcasm • mocking • dismissive tone • “You always…” / “You never…” • shutting down instead of staying engaged Go
188.7K views5 months ago
FacebookCarolyn Ozuna
In this clip, Dr. John Gottman explains that it’s not really about having too many bids for connection. The real problem is when only one person’s bids seem to count. Your needs matter just as much as your partner’s. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” is a bid. “Can you sit with me?” is a bid. “I need 30 minutes to myself” is a bid too. You’re allowed to ask for connection. You’re allowed to ask for space. Both are valid, and both deserve to be heard. | The Gottman Institute
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In this clip, Dr. John Gottman explains that it’s not really about having too many bids for connection. The real problem is when only one person’s bids seem to count. Your needs matter just as much as your partner’s. “Can we talk for a few minutes?” is a bid. “Can you sit with me?” is a bid. “I need 30 minutes to myself” is a bid too. You’re allowed to ask for connection. You’re allowed to ask for space. Both are valid, and both deserve to be heard. | The Gottman Institute
73.5K views4 months ago
FacebookThe Gottman Institute
John Gottman, the famous marriage researcher, used to think that the cure to contempt was appreciation… he changed his mind…. After further research and reflection @gottmaninstitute came to expand his conclusion: it was the fostering of affection and fondness (through multiple means, not just the expression of appreciation) that subverts and releases contempt. This got me thinking… what if this relationship was true in other areas… In writing a gratitude journal, my goal was to not sugarcoat lif
0:50
John Gottman, the famous marriage researcher, used to think that the cure to contempt was appreciation… he changed his mind…. After further research and reflection @gottmaninstitute came to expand his conclusion: it was the fostering of affection and fondness (through multiple means, not just the expression of appreciation) that subverts and releases contempt. This got me thinking… what if this relationship was true in other areas… In writing a gratitude journal, my goal was to not sugarcoat lif
5K viewsJul 12, 2023
FacebookMatthias J Barker
Dr. John Gottman's research shows that contempt is the number 1 indicator of divorce. Not infidelity. Not conflict. Not poor communication. Contempt. Now certainly those previously listed things could lead to Contempt, so its good to deal with those. But that's the point - deal with those before they lead you to contempt. 🔥 Our 30-Day Relationship Revival Challenge teaches you how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts as a team, rebuild connection, and restore intimacy! Challenge starts
1:10
Dr. John Gottman's research shows that contempt is the number 1 indicator of divorce. Not infidelity. Not conflict. Not poor communication. Contempt. Now certainly those previously listed things could lead to Contempt, so its good to deal with those. But that's the point - deal with those before they lead you to contempt. 🔥 Our 30-Day Relationship Revival Challenge teaches you how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts as a team, rebuild connection, and restore intimacy! Challenge starts
119.2K views8 months ago
FacebookKatie McCabe
Relationship Communication: John Gottman's Repair Attempts — How Communication Works
Relationship Communication: John Gottman's Repair Attempts — How Communication Works
Jan 5, 2021
howcommunicationworks.com
3:50
What happens when you're upset with your partner? In this clip, Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman show two ways it can go: one with a harsh startup that sparks defensiveness, and one with a softened startup that leads to real connection. A softened startup means less blame and more “I feel.” It’s okay to be upset, but criticism and contempt only push you further apart. Have you ever tried changing the way you started a tough conversation? #GottmanInstitute #SoftenedStartup #RelationshipTips #Marria
7.8K views9 months ago
FacebookThe Gottman Institute
1:05
They communicate something fundamental: I don’t respect you #contempt #eyeroll #heavysigh
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Contempt is a relationship killer. Dr. John Gottman defines contempt as treating a partner with disrespect, scorn, and disgust, viewing them as inferior, which he calls the most damaging of the
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